


The Beauty That Awaits

by potentiality_26



Series: Start Again [3]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fix-It, Friendship, M/M, Missing Scene, Multi, Not Trailer Compliant, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-15 17:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11236227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiality_26/pseuds/potentiality_26
Summary: Merlin went about his examination wordlessly if not silently.  He clucked as he checked the bandages Harry had put around his head and shoulder wound, and even gave a few sympathetic hisses as he prodded Harry’s various bruises. Finally, he said, “You’re a lucky bastard, aren’t you?”“I think we were all very lucky,” Harry said.  Perhaps he had come closest to death, but the rest of the world hadn’t been far behind.  “With Arthur turning like he did…”  If it wasn’t for Eggsy, the one person who saw Chester King for what he really was, they might never have known when Valentine intended to put his plan into effect.  And perhaps Harry would have managed to rouse himself and check in with Kingsman if Amelia hadn’t already been contacting all the other agents, but he doubted it- and even if he had, what could he have done?  Too little.After the church, Harry makes plans for what's to come.





	The Beauty That Awaits

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Start Again" by Gabrielle Aplin. Harry gets his turn in this installment. Roxy (and more Roxelia) is up next!
> 
> Not Brit-picked.

“I’m not so sure _you_ should be going to sleep.”

“Hmm?  Amelia?”  Harry blinked and sat up a little, orienting himself.  The meager light in the storm cellar and his own exhaustion were, indeed, making it difficult to stay awake.   He couldn't even properly remember when he'd made contact with her again. 

“You know what they say about falling asleep with head injuries,” she reminded him.

“I understood that to be a myth.”

Amelia made a noise of reluctant agreement on her end of the glasses.  “But better safe than sorry, yes?  If I let you die after all this, Merlin will probably fire me.  I’ll end up with amnesia and have to find some distant relative I hardly know to take care of me.  Also, I don’t want you to.”

Harry found these remarks a bit difficult to follow; Amelia hadn’t struck him as the babbling sort, so he assumed she was trying to bury the compliment.  He appreciated it, buried or not.  Even though he didn’t know her very well, he felt the situation had... bonded him to her.  From what Harry had been able to gather, Eggsy and Roxy- and probably Merlin too- had experienced something similar.  Harry was glad of it- because Eggsy deserved the support, and because it would just possibly facilitate _his_ not ending up with amnesia.  Harry had no intention of letting Kingsman turn its back on Eggsy- not even if Merlin and their new Lancelot were categorically against his employment- but, well, every little bit helped. 

And, right or wrong about head injuries, Amelia did have a point.  Harry was tired, but also sore, and it was best that he remain awake to keep an eye on his own condition.  He sat up a little more and winced.  He must have made a noise, too, because Amelia asked, “Are you in pain?”

“A little,” he admitted.  He thought it was mainly cuts and bruises- nothing too serious aside from his head wound, which looked worse than it was, and his shoulder. 

He was actually lucky that he had lost consciousness for a while after he was shot.  It had made Valentine and his careless associates assume him dead- and the weight of his body had also mostly stopped the bleeding.  He had bandaged the area, too, while waiting for extraction, and now there was little left for him to do but wait some more.  Outside he heard sirens, but nothing close. 

“Have we had any more news?” he asked, shifting positions to make himself more comfortable. 

“All the agents who were close enough have found their way back to HQ, and we’ve at least heard from all the rest.”

“And who are they reporting to?”

“Me, at least until Merlin gets back.  He put me in charge just before the jet took off from Valentine's bunker.”  Amelia sounded both pleased and alarmed by this newly discovered power.  Then, “Who exactly is our boss at the moment?”

“Him, I would assume.”  Harry knew that Arthur had betrayed them, and that he was dead.  He wasn’t sure how surprised he ought to be by it.  Chester King had been his mentor once, his _friend_ once- but while Harry had tried to learn, tried to change with the times and to better himself, Arthur had elected to stand still.  And so they had grown apart.  Everything that had happened around Eggsy's candidacy had made it clear just how very apart they had grown, but Harry hadn't thought it was _that_ far.  Harry hadn't thought that his old mentor and friend would let his elitism entirely choke off his compassion.  “Until we get a new Arthur, that is.”

“You don’t think Merlin will take the job?”

“I think he'll do everything he can to avoid it,” Harry replied.  “Merlin prefers to lead from behind the scenes, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

She laughed quietly. 

Harry listened to another siren.  “I take it there were still civilian casualties, especially here in the United States?”

“Yes.  Anywhere without much gun control.  But even in those places it could have been worse.  From what our agents are telling me, some of the largest criminal organizations could well have been wiped off the map.”

"I suppose so," Harry murmured.  "They must have destroyed each other."  He didn’t remember much of what happened in the church- bits and pieces only- but the horrible loss of control was still there, in the back of his mind, however much he tried not to think about it.

“If you want to talk any more about what happened-” she began, as if she could read his mind. 

“I would rather not.”

“All right.”  Amelia’s voice was quiet.  “I understand, I do.  But you really helped me today, and probably Eggsy too.  I don’t want you to feel like you have to... stay strong, or whatever.  I was a little shaky there for a while, but I've got it together now.  I can take it.”

“At some point I may take you up on that,” Harry said, more warmed by her offer than he could say.  “Merlin might even make me.  But not just now- staying strong is what’s keeping me going.” 

Harry wasn't sure that he had done worse things, but he had certainly done things that were harder to live with.  A small, dark part of him had already wanted those people dead, though he would never have killed them if it wasn't for Valentine and his SIM cards.  To have been robbed of the choice was a terrible thing, one he didn't intend to make light of, but it was perhaps not so terrible as some of the things he _had_ done by choice over the years. 

For now he would keep moving.  Later- on the jet, perhaps- he might crash, but he wasn't there yet.  And once he was back at HQ, there would still be much to attend to.  Even with all those criminal organizations gone, the world would need Kingsman more than ever.  “It really is going to be a brave new world.”  

Harry's intention was to take it was one day- even one minute- at a time. 

He did doze off at one point, with Amelia’s voice still in his ear, but he was relatively sure that he didn’t die- not least because when he woke the voice he heard was Merlin’s instead.  The last time Harry checked Merlin was perfectly fine- and even if he wasn’t, his was not the voice Harry would have picked to herald either eternal bliss or torment.

“I’m very disappointed to hear it,” Merlin said.  Harry must have voiced that thought aloud.  He apologized.  “I’ll just have to torture you a little more from here on out.”

Harry grunted in agreement.  As long as there _was_ a ‘from here on out’ everything else mattered little, in his opinion.

“Can you walk?” Merlin asked.

Harry pulled himself up with another grunt, this one from effort.  He was so dreadfully sore.  “Where am I walking to?” he asked, vaguely aware that he had had more or less this same conversation once before.  Probably Amelia had more to do for now than watch over him, but Harry found he missed her. 

“The Kingsman jet,” Merlin said.  “We’ve landed.  Come along now and get moving, I’ll direct you.”

His remarks about torture aside, Merlin’s tone had gone unusually soft and gentle.  Harry wasn’t sure what to make of it.   

“I thought you were dead, Harry.”

Getting back on his feet and moving again had sharpened Harry’s wits a little.  He could hear the emotion in Merlin’s voice, something sharp and a little surprised, almost as if this was occurring to him for the first time- though no, that wasn’t likely.  Probably he simply hadn't reflected on the near miss since he discovered it was one.  Getting Harry and Eggsy connected, getting Amelia and Roxy connected, looking after all the different knights, checking into news reports... it would all have kept him very busy, kept him from thinking.

Merlin could fuss to his heart’s content about Harry’s coping mechanisms, but his own were startlingly similar.

Harry made good time toward the jet, though it wasn’t enough to stop a certain someone from going after him. When Eggsy first called Harry's name, it took him a moment to realize that he wasn't hearing Eggsy's voice from over the glasses.  He wheeled around.  Eggsy was frozen a short distance away, a little battered but evidently all right. 

Looking at him, Harry discovered an expanse of energy that he hadn’t realized was still in him- and he started moving.  Eggsy wore the suit Harry had had made for him.  It was filthy, but Harry didn’t think he could possibly have been more handsome- not that Harry was able to look long before he had closed the distance between them and caught Eggsy in his arms.  It was unfamiliar, the feeling of Eggsy’s more slender chest pressed up against his own, of Eggsy’s soft hair carding through his fingers, of Eggsy's warm breath on his neck, but the unfamiliarity didn’t make it feel any less _right_.  Harry kissed the top of his head.  He thought about kissing Eggsy’s lips, but he couldn’t manage it from this angle, and Eggsy only pressed closer, like he didn’t want Harry to let him go for anything.  Harry decided that that was just about perfect.  He didn’t want to let Eggsy go any time soon either; since talking over the glasses, they knew where they stood with each other, what they both wanted.  Kisses could wait.   

Harry felt Eggsy go soft and almost limp against him- as if he was fully relaxing for the first time in hours, if not days.  Harry kissed the top of his head again.  “We had better get moving,” he said, though he wished it wasn't so.

He felt Eggsy nod, but it was a moment before he galvanized.  He turned, keeping one arm around Harry’s waist.  Harry allowed it, his own arm making a home around Eggsy’s shoulders.  Now side-by-side, they continued forward.

Merlin had landed the jet in a small, middle of nowhere airfield that was mercifully empty.  Harry wondered what had become of any attendants, but he didn’t wonder much.  That would be for the Americans to sort out.  For the time being, he was only glad that there was no one to see them, no one to stare at two well-dressed men, one of them bloodied and battered, the other with his suit all but in tatters, half-carrying each other toward a jet. 

Looking at the tears in Eggsy's suit, Harry wanted to undress him.  He wanted it for the same reasons he had wanted it for a very long time- to touch Eggsy, to explore him, to make him feel good- but at the moment these thoughts seemed, like kissing on the lips, to be of secondary importance to having Eggsy close, to seeing that he was all right, to pondering the future that stretched out in front of him now that they had- incredibly- not lost each other after all.  Eggsy didn’t seem to be hurting beyond a bruise here or there, but he had undoubtedly had his share of close calls fighting Gazelle and everyone else Valentine might have had at his disposal.  That he was here now, and whole, struck Harry as nothing short of miraculous.   

And what if not everyone had been so lucky?  Amelia and Merlin had told him that Kingsman had gotten off more or less unscathed apart from Arthur, but that was not everyone.  Like Amelia, like Merlin and Roxy and many of the others, Harry had had little in the way of family to worry about when Valentine's SIM cards turned the world upside down. 

Eggsy, though- Eggsy had family.  "Your mother and sister...” Harry began.

“They’re fine.  Rox called to make sure nothing happened to either of them.”  Eggsy's grip on Harry tightened.  It hurt, pulling at the wound on Harry's shoulder, but Harry didn't mind the pain.  It reminded him that he was here, that they both were, that they would all- as the saying went- live to fight another day. 

“Good,” Harry said, tightening his grip on Eggsy in turn.  “That’s good.”

They made their way to the jet in easy silence after that, though by the time they reached it Eggsy did have to all but drag Harry up the stairs.  “You better not be dying after all,” Eggsy said between gritted teeth.  “All that worrying about _me_.”  

If Harry had had any lingering doubts, after their quarrel, about what he meant to Eggsy, how much more than impatience was in Eggsy’s voice now would have laid them to rest- and it choked him up a little as he rested his back against the open doorway.  "I like to think I have a lot of worrying about you still to do," he said.

Eggsy turned a little to face Harry.  His expression softened as he figured out what Harry was implying, and he let out a breath, resting his forehead against Harry's.  "Me too, I guess" he said.

"Most likely," Harry agreed.  He lifted a hand to touch Eggsy's face.  "But I'm all right now."  With Eggsy here, and so close, he couldn't imagine being anything less. 

“Are you two finished?” came a voice- Merlin’s- from inside the jet.

Harry patted Eggsy's cheek gently, and Eggsy laughed.  "Yes," he said, voice coming out lighter than it had in hours.  "For now, at least."

Eggsy laughed again, and they found their way inside at last.  Merlin was hovering near the door with his arms crossed, but there was a look of intense of fondness on his face.  He jerked his chin toward the far end of the cabin, where Harry could see their new Lancelot sitting.  “Eggsy, why don’t you go and talk to Roxy for a moment while I check Harry out?”

Eggsy nodded and gave Harry another quick embrace before slipping off in that direction. 

Merlin went about his examination wordlessly if not silently.  He clucked as he checked the bandages Harry had put around his head and shoulder wound, and even gave a few sympathetic hisses as he prodded Harry’s various bruises. Finally, he said, “You’re a lucky bastard, aren’t you?”

“I think we were all very lucky,” Harry said.  Perhaps he had come closest to death, but the rest of the world hadn’t been far behind.  “With Arthur turning like he did…”  If it wasn’t for Eggsy, the one person who saw Chester King for what he really was, they might never have known when Valentine intended to put his plan into effect.  And perhaps Harry would have managed to rouse himself and check in with Kingsman if Amelia hadn’t already been contacting all the other agents, but he doubted it- and even if he had, what could he have done? Too little.

“Yes.”  Merlin sounded uncomfortable.

Harry didn’t blame him.  Within an hour of learning that James Spencer was dead, Harry had already needed to think of a replacement.  It wouldn’t be much different with Arthur, and Merlin know it too. 

Sure enough, he said, “Well- do you want the job?”

Harry opened his mouth to refuse out of hand.  He wanted to be Arthur like he wanted a(nother) hole in the head.  But then he heard Eggsy, talking softly to Roxy on the other end of the jet, and he closed his mouth again.  Eggsy was one more reason to say no and the only good reason to say yes at once. Perhaps one day it wouldn’t matter if he was Eggsy’s boss, but right now this thing between them was too new, too shy and tender to put under that kind of strain.  Only... few Kingsman ever died in the field.  They were mostly promoted or retired out, and an agent who left his position could choose his replacement, no trials, no questions asked.  Harry could make Eggsy Galahad.  But though he wasn’t sure what Eggsy’s opinion would be of him taking a job he didn’t want- one which could threaten a relationship that already meant the world to him besides- for that reason alone, he doubted it would be positive.

And if Harry refused, Merlin would probably turn to Percival, and then on down the line until someone side yes.  Surely one of them could be talked or bullied into letting Eggsy in on his own merits.  He had shown them amply today.

“No, thank you,” he said at last.

Merlin sighed, a little dejectedly.  “I thought not.  I suppose I’ll have to do it.”

Harry had believed it so much when he told Amelia that Merlin wouldn’t want the job that he had taken it for granted.  Could he really have been wrong?  “You _want_ to-”

“Of course I don’t want to, nobody does.  But it makes sense.  We need to learn from past mistakes, not compound them.”     

“Fair enough,” Harry said slowly.  “So what happens to-”

“I’ll come up with a position for Eggsy,” Merlin- Harry would still think of him as Merlin, for now- told him.  “No one will be able to deny that he’s earned it.  We have a few that were retired after WWII, if you’ll recall.  I could bring one back.  I assume Eggsy won’t mind if it’s technically a female name.”

“I doubt it,” Harry said.  He and Lancelot would make an even more interesting pair of friends, that way.  “And I’m glad- but I was actually going to ask about _your_ job.  Please don’t try to do both.”

Merlin sniffed.  “I don’t intend to,” he said, though Harry could tell from his tone that he had thought about it.  “I have someone in mind, in fact.”

Harry grinned when he realized who Merlin most likely meant.

The immediate future of their organization thus established, Merlin clapped Harry on the shoulder- gently, because of his injuries- and headed back to the flight deck to get them underway.  “I suggest you get strapped in for takeoff,” he said over his shoulder.

“Certainly.”  Harry left the seat Merlin had pressed him into and headed toward the back of the plane- and Eggsy.

He appeared to have dozed off again while Harry was talking to Merlin.  Roxy was still beside him, lounging back with a fond look on her face.  She caught Harry's eyes and smiled.

Harry smiled back.  He sat down at Eggsy's other side and put his arm over the back of Eggsy's seat, close enough to feel his heat but not quite touching.  He didn't mind the lack of privacy; now that he knew for sure that he wasn't in immediate danger he thought he would follow Eggsy's example and get a little sleep.  There would be plenty of time for everything else once they were safely home.  

What was more, Harry felt a degree of kinship with Roxy that surprised him, given how little he actually knew about her.  They had both survived the day to face an unexpected but hopefully better future; they both loved Eggsy in their different ways- and loved Amelia too, Harry supposed; and she had, he thought without bitterness, done a better job of protecting Michelle Unwin than he had.   

She sat back in her seat, resting her head and shutting her eyes.  Harry prepared to do the same.   

He had not quite begun to drift off when Eggsy- sleepy-voiced but apparently awake after all- murmured, "We going home?"

"Yes," Harry said quietly.  He didn't open his eyes, but he did move his arm a little to let his fingertips play with the short hairs at the back of Eggsy's neck.  "And you can come home with me, if you like."

"Oh, I like."

And though Harry suspected that Eggsy too would want to take things slow now that they had the chance, there were certain promises already in the air between them, and the smile in Eggsy's voice backed every one of them up. "We could have dinner," he said, thinking aloud.  They had eaten together, several times, during the 24 hours before the final test- but there had been a tension in the air that would be diffused now.  Because Eggsy would be a Kingsman after all, and they would be on equal footing at last.  Because they were going to build something together. 

It would be a night in, of course- neither of them was up to much more, and anyway London would still be recovering from the events of V-Day.  But one day soon...

"Yeah," Eggsy said, breaking Harry out of these thoughts.  His voice was so sweet that Harry had to crack his eyes open and look.  Eggsy's smile was lovely, though it twisted into something wry a moment later.  "There's just something I gotta take care of first."

“Your family?”

Eggsy nodded.  “Like I said, they're all right- but I still need to check in, get them away from Dean if I can."

Harry tightened his grip on the back of Eggsy's neck.  It seemed that both of them would have old demons to wrestle with going forward.  Harry wanted so much to help Eggsy with his.  “I could go with you,” he offered.  Then he remembered his last interaction- so long ago- with Eggsy’s mother and wondered if it was at all a good idea.  “I could do something, anyway." 

Eggsy's smile returned.  “Thanks, Harry.  But, uh- I think it’s something I've gotta handle on my own."  He bit his lip, looking thoughtful.  "Although... am I gonna have a house like you, or-"

“I’m sure Merlin will be able to arrange that.”

“He our new boss?”

“It seems so,” Harry said.   He felt a warmth in his chest at that word, that _our_. 

Eggsy hummed in agreement, looking as pleased as Harry was at how things had fallen out.  "Well, I guess that's that, then.  I'll get some more rest and then come up with a plan for Dean when we get back.  But I'll be coming back to you, yeah?  Soon as I've got it all sorted out."  

Harry loosened his grip on Eggsy but kept close, just touching him lightly. 

Letting Eggsy go into danger- even of a comparatively mundane sort- was difficult for him after the events of the last few days.  Not only did he know that Eggsy had undoubtedly come close to death many times, there was the question, again, of losing control.  But this would be control given up willingly, because if he loved and respected Eggsy- which he did, oh how he did- he would have to let him go, let him fight his own battles. 

"Yes," he said quietly.  "Yes, of course you will."  Meaning that of course Eggsy would sort it out, of course he would find a way.  Meaning that of course he would come back. 

Eggsy sighed happily, and Harry gave the back of his neck a final stroke and settled in. 

He shut his eyes again and just listened, to the even rhythm of Eggsy and Roxy's breath, to the whoosh and rattle of the engines, to the distant sound of sirens fading away as they took off, headed for home- and a new world. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come see me on [tumblr](http://potentiality-26.tumblr.com/).


End file.
